


you said forever; give it the summer

by solcadit



Series: you make me complete (solangelo) [2]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, College, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, and caleo, i would say this is angst, jasiper is implied, nico goes to italy as an exchange student, nico has terrible coping mechanisms, will is trying to do the right thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:41:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25139422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solcadit/pseuds/solcadit
Summary: The tattoo on the inside of Nico’s forearm that only he could see, written in Will’s big, loopy script, clearly states the last thing Will Solace will ever say to Nico di Angelo is something that honestly sounds like a wedding vow, that if it was written just a tiny bit happier, it would have been so beautiful.
Relationships: Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Series: you make me complete (solangelo) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1813696
Comments: 9
Kudos: 87





	you said forever; give it the summer

**Author's Note:**

> first of all, i am sorry, this is sort of a vent fic.  
> most of the things that will has said here are actually things I've been told/felt just recently, too, so uhm i may or may not have gone a bit overboard with the feelings. unfortunately, this is also unbeta-ed.
> 
> title is inspired by the song i was listening to the whole time i was writing: gracie abrams - i miss you, i'm sorry
> 
> anyway,  
> hello, thank you for being here, and i hope you enjoy this.

Nico should have seen all of this coming.

Their breakup had been looming over him like a giant sea wave that had been stuck in extremely slow motion, with time waiting for that one exact moment when it could finally speed up again and crash a wave all over him. So really, he shouldn’t have been all that surprised and affected when Will finally told him, after a whole week of no contact whatsoever, that he wanted to break up.

But it still affects him more than he’d like to admit. He hates showing emotions, it always makes him feel weak.

Will suddenly texting him that Saturday night (in Italy, anyway. It would have been around three in the afternoon in New York) with whole paragraphs of how he think it’s not going to work out between them again had made Nico feel so _fucking_ weak. 

Ever since Will told him that he was willing to try out a relationship with Nico, he had been thinking the same things over and over on loop. The realization and guesses Nico had early into the beginning of their relationship that “ _This probably isn’t going to work out long term but I’ll enjoy it while I can_ ” and the insecurities he’d been having over the short year of their relationship that “ _Will deserves so much better than me_ ”. They should have helped numb him.

The early realizations and insecurities _had_ helped. At least for two short hours. 

So Nico turned to alcohol.

Nico had broken out the beer and the bitter liquor later into that Saturday night. He probably shouldn’t have touched his phone. He was notorious among their friend group for doing stupid things when he was drinking, such as texting stupid shit to his now-ex-boyfriend when he’d promised himself that he wouldn’t talk to Will anymore if it wasn’t necessary.

Sent at exactly 12:16 in the morning, Nico’s first text had been: _It’s a relief you broke up with me first. Thank you._

If he had stopped there, it would have been fine. It would have been great, actually. Nico could have lived with the fact that he had told Will it was a relief that Nico was dumped instead of it happening the other way around because Will - friendly, charming, social butterfly Will - had legitimate reasons to break up with him, such as him losing his feelings and not wanting to drag the relationship out even more lest Nico getting even more hurt. Even until breakups, Will was nice.

See, if quiet, self-contained, lone wanderer Nico had broken up with Will first with _his_ own reasons, with the insecurities that Will might fall in love with someone else, he doesn’t think it would have sounded all that reasonable for anyone hearing about it. It would have just sounded plain idiotic.

But _nooooo_ , Nico just had to be a pathetic sad drunk loser who had to consider all the possibilities and loopholes Will had accidentally left in his fucking break up essay.

 _“I really tried to like you as much as you like me. I spent the last week trying to jumpstart my feelings again, but I really couldn’t.”_ Did you even try? Give it more time and see what happens. Isn’t one week too short to be so sure?

 _“I don’t know what would have happened if we were seeing each other in person more often.”_ Couldn’t you have waited until we saw each other again? I would have flown back to New York in a month after my term abroad. Maybe things would have been different if you just _waited_.

 _“Tell me honestly what you feel, though. This is your decision as much as it is mine. I don’t want to make this big of a decision on my own.”_ If I said that I wanted to keep on trying and said that I didn’t want to break up, does that mean that you’d have considered not breaking up with me?

And all of Nico’s sad, pathetic, drunk questions, Will had shut them all down and crushed them underfoot. Every single one of them. It was embarrassing.

_“I really tried, but I was 100% sure that I don’t love you anymore. I’m sorry.”_

_“I didn’t want to drag it out any longer. You don’t deserve to be strung along like this. You deserve someone better than me.”_

_“I don’t think I’d have considered not breaking up with you even if you asked. This is for the better.”_

Fucking piece of shit. Why bother asking for Nico’s opinion if he wasn’t going to at least try and listen for a bit and think about what _could_ happen? 

The next evening, it is Sunday and Nico is drinking again.

He scrolls through the last conversation with his right hand, an open half-full bottle of liquor in his left. He reads through each and every message, every excuse and every apology Will had sent to him, and he scoffs at each one. It still doesn’t make any sense. Will hadn’t had at least the manner to tell him how and why he had suddenly come to those conclusions. If he’s the perfect, nice boy that he says he is and everyone thinks he is, shouldn’t he at least give him more reasons why he suddenly decided that he doesn’t love Nico anymore?

When Nico drains the bottle he’s holding, it joins the pile of empty cans and glass bottles in the corner of his tiny, cluttered apartment.

In his pathetic, drunken state, Nico laughs and laughs and scoffs and rolls his eyes and sheds a bit of tears as he had scrolled through their conversations. 

He had texted, _I looked at you like you were the fucking sun, and I didn’t expect things to turn out like this. I guess I should really stop looking at you through rose-tinted glasses because I end up this sad and pathetic, but it’s okay. Who am I to keep you from being happy? That’s all that I always wanted for you._

Even if he’s reading it just 18 hours after he had first sent it, Nico had never thought that he could type out and send Will clingy, pathetic messages like that. It looks really depressing and embarrassing now to the extent that he wonders what Will had felt upon first receiving that exact message. It’s so fucking pathetic that Nico just laughs and reaches for another can of beer.

Based on the tattoo on the inside of his forearm, Nico knows that conversation isn’t going to be their last. And he amusedly, maybe also a little sadly, wonders how are those next conversations going to happen. He wonders if it’s going to be just as pathetic as this one.

This conversation had ended up with Will saying, _If that’s all, then I’m going to sleep. Thank you for everything. I don’t have any regrets about it._

The tattoo on the inside of Nico’s forearm that only he could see, written in Will’s big, loopy script, clearly states the last thing Will Solace will ever say to Nico di Angelo is, _I’m glad you were a part of my life, and I want to thank you for having been a part of mine._

It would have been so beautiful. It was like a wedding vow or whatever. 

Except for the tense it was written in, which only makes it sound as sad as it would be as happy if there was just a _tiny_ little difference.

Nico hasn’t heard it yet. 

Fuck soulmates. Fuck the gods or whoever decided to curse mankind with this type of shit.

Nico di Angelo drinks himself to oblivion that night, throwing the glass bottles of whiskey he empties later on at the corners of the room he knows he won’t walk towards when drunk or hungover, a bitter laugh escaping his throat every time a bottle hits the wall with a satisfying shatter. 

The next day, he only cleans up two broken bottles.

Nico wakes up past noon on a fucking Monday with a terrible headache and bile rising in his throat, making his first order of the day puking his guts out over his toilet and drinking some Gatorade.

By the time he drains his Gatorade and feels just slightly better, it’s almost two o’clock, and his classes for the day are halfway over. By the time he’ll have eaten lunch and taken a shower and reached campus, only one class out of the five of the day will be left. And it happens to be the exact course that Nico has just finished writing his final paper two days ago. He can afford to miss one session.

Nico spends the rest of the afternoon and evening lying on his bed and staring blankly at the ceiling. It’s stupid but he can’t stop thinking about what could have made Will decide that he wanted to break up so suddenly.

When Nico had first started to feel the weird fluttery feelings that he only happened to feel around Will Solace, it was just before classes started on one weekday when they were in sophomore year, and Will had brought a guitar. Will had let their tiny friend group since freshman year - Cecil, Lou Ellen, and Nico - listen to a song that Will had just finished writing the night before for his anniversary with his then-girlfriend from back home in Austin, Katie.

Nico had been absentmindedly chatting with Lou Ellen about a fiction book he had read over the weekend when Will had run into the room, sat himself and his guitar down on the floor in front of Nico and Lou Ellen’s desk, and excitedly announced, “Listen to this song I wrote for Katie! Where’s Cecil? CECIL!”

Cecil was still on the other corner of the room, navigating through the people and the desk. Nico had sighed, “Just play it already! Play it again for Cecil later!”

Will had laughed, “No, I’m going to play it only once, and I want to hear all of your feedback.”

Cecil had slipped into his seat on Lou Ellen’s right and clapped his hands together, demanding Will play them the song already.

And play it Will did.

Nico doesn’t know much about music or guitars, but from the way Will had played, Nico had suddenly started thinking about how his older sister used to play the guitar in her free time all those years ago, pressing down on the strings and strumming smoothly, but occasionally making a mistake. Will had played just like she did, and while it’s not terrible, it’s not exactly exemplary, either. But then, Will started singing and while his voice wasn’t the best, the _lyrics_ were actually something.

The lyrics were very charming, very witty. They were so very… Will Solace.

Will had incorporated a lot of annoying plant puns (Katie’s major), medical pick up lines (Will’s major), and video game references (their shared hobby) into the song, and it really shouldn’t have sounded as nice or as funny as it was. But Will had blended them all together into a sweet, romantic song without it making Nico's toes curl. 

Funny and entertaining yes, but not cringeworthy. Nico has to admit that Will sounds like he just Googled some pick-up lines and mashed them together so it’s actually quite entertaining. and Nico - although he will continuously deny this for the months to follow - thinks his heart had actually fluttered at some of the lyrics. 

_Chive never met anyone quite like you,  
_ _My bam-boo, my life would suck without you,  
_ _I will never ever leaf you,  
_ _You’re stuck with me, like vines cling to trees_

 _Are you a thief, ‘cause you stole my heart,  
_ _Wrapped yourself around it, are you my coronary artery  
_ _I could name all the causes of a heart attack  
_ _But I can never explain in words how my heart feels that way about you_

 _If you were a Pokemon, I’d always choose you  
_ No Bowser's Castle lava is gonna stop me from getting to you.  
 _We can do a Mario Kart race around the world together  
_ Just press start and be my player two

When Will had finished singing, he had a wide proud smile on his face. Lou Ellen was nodding, Cecil was laughing his head off, and Nico just shrugged.

“How the fuck did you come up with those lyrics, William?” Cecil had managed to choke out in between laughs.

“They’re probably all Googled,” Nico shrugged, a hint of a smile on his face. “I don’t think Will has a creative bone in his body.”

Will narrowed his eyes at Nico, tone sounding joking, “As if _you_ could write songs any better, Nico!”

Nico had passively shrugged again, as Cecil burst into another round of laughter. Lou Ellen had smiled, given him a thumbs-up, and said, “It’s good. Quite nice. I’m sure Katie will love it, Will.”

“Thank you, Lou!”

Then Lou Ellen continues, just as calmly and casually, “But Will, Nico _is_ still technically a literature major, you know, even if he does focus on Italian literature. If he was going to write a song, he would most likely be able to write a better one.”

Will opens his mouth to argue but is stopped when the door slams open and their professor walks in with a booming, “Good morning, y’all! Pens in bags and heads on desks!”

Nico had never been able to look at Will in the purely platonic manner he had gotten used to ever again. He had started avoiding looking directly into Will’s eyes - not that he had ever been a spectacular communicator - and had completely shut down the idea of talking about his feelings to _anyone_ even when Will and Katie broke up a week after their anniversary because Will had laid his eyes on someone new almost immediately.

It’s okay. Nico has never really liked expressing his feelings, anyway. He doesn’t want to be a burden to anyone, with all his dark thoughts and pent up sadness.

His term abroad is ending in a few weeks, and Nico spends the rest of the week in a daze, sitting at the very back of the room instead of his usual front seat, and spacing out during his lecture classes. 

He keeps his phone turned off and in his pocket, and he really tries to listen to the last few bits of information they’re trying to cram into their heads, but whenever he tries, the memory of Will and Cecil and Lou Ellen from a year or so ago sitting beside him and bothering him during classes keeps distracting him.

He doesn’t have time for this, he has papers to finish writing.

But that afternoon, he goes straight to the university courtyard and sits on the grass under a big tree. Ever since he arrived and discovered that exact giant tree, he had made a habit of spending his time staring at the horizon until the sun sets every time his classes end on Fridays. Watching the sunset is a pretty good way to end your week. 

Today, he thinks about what would have happened if he never left New York. Maybe he and Will would still be together.

Nico stretches out his legs when someone suddenly plops down on the grass beside him, dropping their bag down, as well. “Hey. Nice seeing you here once again, _signore_ ,.”

“Hi, Reyna.” He looks over at the Puerto-Rican girl sitting beside him who is stretching out her arms and yawning. She’s there for a year abroad, studying international relations.

He met Reyna at this exact same spot on campus a few weeks after he first arrived in Florence. Reyna had been sitting on the other side of the tree, and had been walking around the tree trunk looking for a phone signal to call her sister back home when she had tripped over Nico’s leg.

It suddenly seems so long ago.

“So, how was your week?” Reyna prompts. 

They both aren’t the best at constant communication unless necessary, so they’d made a deal to meet at the tree every Friday to keep up their friendship and exchange stories about the major happenings of the week, exchange student to exchange student. Nico helps Reyna in improving her Italian, too, so they always talk in Italian nowadays.

(Sometimes, Nico even lets slip some of the more personal details that he doesn’t usually mention. He usually only talks about his university and friends left in New York and his classes in Florence, the new place he discovered by the next block. Only sometimes about Will, rarely about his family.)

Nico shrugs, “Pretty shitty, honestly.”

Reyna’s eyebrows knit together, “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Not really, no.”

“Are you feeling okay, though?”

“I guess so.”

“Alright, then.”

(But not today.)

They fall into a comfortable silence as the sun makes the sky glow orange and pink. Reyna takes a deep breath and turns her head to look at him, “Do you want to go to Rome tomorrow?”

Nico meets her eyes, “Why?”

Reyna shrugs, “Nothing. Might cheer you up.”

Nico, amused, stares at her for a few moments before letting out a laugh. Reyna had told him that ever since arriving in Italy, she had decided to become impulsive, and that meant occasionally boarding trains to other Italian cities out of the blue just because she felt like it. She had already been to Bologna and Rome and Verona a few times. Nico, on the other hand, preferred to be more chill and just walk around the streets near the university and his rented apartment. He was never the flighty, impulsive type, always needing time to think about the effects of his decisions.

However, he did go to Venice first before taking a train to Florence. He had told himself years ago that the first thing he would do if he ever stepped a foot on Italian soil was to visit the graves of his sister and mother.

And so he did.

“Do you want to go to Venice, instead? Rome is more of your city instead of mine, you know.”

Reyna raises her eyebrows, “Venice, huh.”

Nico tries to smile, the corners of his lips feeling heavier than usual.

When he first visited their graves on Isola di San Michele in the middle of winter upon arriving in Italy, he sat down in the middle of the cramped space and talked to them for _hours_ despite the biting, windy cold. Telling them about what happened to him after they died in that boating accident, being taken in by Hades and flown to New York, graduating high school and entering university. He had mentioned every single thing from his classes to his friends to his discovered sexuality. He had mentioned Will.

Reyna doesn’t know all this about what Nico did in Venice, nor the fact that he already went there, but he did tell her about his sister and mother’s deaths in that accident so long ago. There is a glint in Reyna’s eye that makes Nico briefly wonder how easily can she actually see through him.

She shrugs, “Venice it is, then.”

Like every week that has passed, they sit under the tree for hours on end, Reyna doing most of the talking and Nico occasionally mentioning a funny video he had seen on social media. When the night deepens, they decide to grab dinner together because they don’t have much work to do and they end up in a resto-bar near the campus, chatting as they sip on wine over dinner.

Ever since meeting Reyna, Nico has always looked forward to Fridays.

It’s official. He now _hates_ Saturdays with a burning passion.

The moment he opened his eyes to his usual six o’clock alarm, some part of his brain had been laughing at him, mocking him and yelling at him, _“Will broke up with you on this day last week. HA HA HA.”_

Fucking hell. Nico has to wonder how Will is taking all this.

Nico groans and digs the base of his palms into his closed eyes, purposely thinking of other things to push the thought away. He’s going to Venice today with Reyna. He’s going to talk to his sister and his mother today. The weather forecast says the weather is going to be clear and amazing. Who needs to think about Will- _fucking_ -Solace?

He meets Reyna by one of the entrances to Stazione di Santa Maria Novella just before nine, and Reyna shoves a ticket in his hand when he arrives, glaring at him, “You’re late. I said a quarter before nine, not _five minutes_ before.” 

Nico rolls his eyes. Reyna had told him just the night before that the train she bought tickets to is set to leave at half past nine, so they don’t really need to rush. Nevertheless, Reyna makes them speed walk past groups of people, the sunlight pouring in from overhead, until they reach the platform and get on the train twenty minutes before the train actually leaves. 

Heaving a sigh, Nico sinks into the seat near the window as Reyna sits down on his left, pushing her dark braid over her shoulder. Out of the corner of his eye, Nico notices how Reyna is staring at him in silence.

He closes his eyes as he asks, “Why are you staring at me?”

Reyna’s answer comes immediately, “Why exactly are we going to Venice? After half your family died there, a person would think you’d never want to go back.”

Nico shrugs. He knows Reyna is expecting an answer, but he doesn’t want to go into it yet, so he stays silent and pretends he’s fallen asleep even if Reyna most likely wouldn’t be fooled. After a few minutes, Reyna sighs.

When Nico opens his eyes just a little to peek at her, Reyna is looking away from him and staring out of the left window.

Before they reach Venice, Nico informs Reyna that there’s an island in the lagoon that he wants to visit first before they spend the rest of the day in the Piazza San Marco. Reyna only raises her eyebrows at him when he doesn’t specify any details about the island itself, but nods.

When they get out of the train station, Nico leads Reyna through the crowds until they reach the waterbus stop. He pays for her ticket and ignores her questioning stare when he buys them both a full day ticket.

“Nico.” Reyna glances at him while they stand in front of the route map. The next _vaporetto_ is arriving in four minutes. “Where exactly are we going?”

“Isole di San Michele. We’re going to visit my family.”

Reyna freezes for a second before muttering a Spanish curse under her breath, “ _Il_ _cimitero_. You didn’t think to mention this before?”

Nico shrugs, “I looked up the timetable online and it said there’d be an hour before we got there once we got on the boat. Figured we had time to talk about it.”

On the waterboat, Reyna chews him out under her breath (it’s still as intense as it would be if it were at full volume) until Sacca Fisola, telling him about how he can’t just surprise her with these plans, especially if they’re as serious as cemetery visits. She would have changed into nicer clothes if she knew, she said. She was only wearing a silvery parka over a deep purple shirt and dark denim jeans. _That’s not something you wear to a cemetery,_ she said _._

Nico, with his black long coat and black turtleneck and black jeans, only tells her that his family has seen her in other clothes so “ _it should be fine, Reyna.”_

She huffs under her breath, “Easy for you to say, your wardrobe only has black clothes.”

Reyna goes into another discussion under her breath that it’s not the best to be wearing such bright colors to a _cemetery_ , and why it shouldn’t be like that. They’re by the church of Zitelle when she smacks his shoulder and glares at him.

Nico gives her a few minutes for her fighting feelings to settle down, and by then, they’re by San Marco-San Zaccaria. A couple gets on the waterbus after most of the passengers get off, leaving five people on the bus. “You can get off here if you don’t want to come.”

Reyna shakes her head, nonetheless. “I’m coming with you.”

It takes them another half hour more or less, and Nico decides to tell Reyna about his family and the life he used to have in the Dorsoduro district for the first time. He mentions how his old neighborhood was one of the reasons why he wanted to take up his college major in literature and culture, with all the art he used to and the museums he used to frequent even as a child. Both he and his sister had gotten an interest in arts and culture from it.

Reyna’s a great listener. She listens, only nodding and humming but doesn’t say anything to interrupt. Unlike Will who listens but he cuts in half the time to ask about this or that and to tell him about what Nico could have done and what he could do better. He knows Will had always meant well, but he wasn’t really asking for advice.

Words really do come easier with Reyna. 

It’s a shame Reyna doesn’t have a soulmate of her own; she told him she doesn’t have her own tattoo anywhere on her body. But if she did have one, Nico thinks he would much prefer her as a soulmate over Will any day.

“Hi, Mama. Hi, Bi. This is Reyna, she’s a really good friend.” 

Nico glances over at Reyna, the corners of his lips curling upwards.

“She was nagging me about not telling her I was going to come to see you. She says she would have dressed more properly.”

Reyna rolls her eyes at him, then addresses the two headstones with a little smile, “I’m sorry for not dressing better. I would have if only Nico told me we were coming. Would have brought flowers, too.”

The cemetery is empty save for the two of them and the few people they saw from when they passed by the church. Nico talks to the stones about how he and Reyna met, and all the things they’ve done together (including the impromptu trip to Rome in February), with Reyna adding on the details he’s missed.

Nico mentions the breakup with Will, and Reyna turns to him, eyes wide. “You didn’t mention you broke up!”

Nico waves his hand passively, pretending it doesn’t bother him as much it does. He tells them, Reyna included, about the reasons Will had stated, and Nico briefly wonders if Bianca and his mom would react just as badly as Reyna is. It’s sort of funny how Reyna is cursing out Will in multiple languages under her breath.

Bianca would have a murderous glint in her eyes, as she would ask for every single detail. Their mother would look at him sadly, then tell him there are so many more people out there. That Nico could find another.

Yeah, he could, but he knows it would still be different. If Nico were to find other people to date, they wouldn’t be his soulmate anymore.

Almost two hours pass before Nico’s said everything he’s wanted to tell them, including how it might be his last visit in a while since he has to finish his papers and all, but he promises he will try his best to return before he leaves back to New York. Reyna promises the stones that Nico will be in good hands until Nico has to return home.

Nico kisses his hand and presses it to the cold marble of the gravestones before they go. One for Bianca and one for Mama.

Nico spends the rest of the day with Reyna in the public square, dodging crowds of tourists and buying bread at a small local bakery to munch on as they walk around the area. They watch the afternoon melt away with the sunset as they stand on the cobbled sidewalks, eating ice cream and reminiscing about the past few months they’ve been friends.

It’s really only then that they realize that they don’t have much time left. Maybe two or three more Fridays to see each other before Nico boards a plane back to New York, and Reyna stays in Italy for another term.

When Nico had accidentally confessed his feelings to Will at the beginning of November the previous year after liking him for a little over a year at that point, he hadn’t really been expecting anything. Will had been crushing on different people, and Nico - as much as he hated to admit it - was jealous because Will looked like he seriously liked them and was planning on asking them out. 

Nico had been planning on letting his feelings out just to get the confession over and done with, but he’d never planned on actually _doing_ it.

So when Nico had impulsively confessed to Will during a stupid argument about how Will shouldn’t rush into relationships too quickly again over one weekend, and Will had told him he wanted to try out their relationship, he felt like there was a catch. It had felt like he was dreaming, but their argument was literally about how Will shouldn’t be getting into any new relationships soon, but there they were: Will deciding to get into another relationship, with Nico, no less.

The Monday after the weekend, Will had asked to meet at a coffee shop early in the morning before they went off to their classes so they could talk and clear up some boundaries and things they wanted or didn’t want in a relationship they were getting into. He had kissed Nico on the forehead right before they went separate ways, promising that he was sure he wanted to try things out.

 _“Whatever happens, happens. Let’s just go with it.”_ Will had told him. _“I want to try this out, see where it goes. I can really see myself falling hard for you. Just trust me.”_

Looking back on it months later, Nico thinks he should have continued asking Will about how sure he was about the whole thing.

He can barely look at Will’s face or photos anymore. Sometimes, he doesn’t even want to hear or read his name, so he ignores the group chats. Every text in a group chat Will was in, Nico ignores. Every single call, every message. He only replies to individual messages, but no one really messages him, either. It’s usually only Jason with the random thing he wants to show Nico, or Leo with the new dish he made up that was surprisingly edible.

Nico hates the whole thing with Will because he knew that if they broke up, he’d not only be losing a boyfriend but also a best friend. It’s another reason why he’d been so hesitant in confessing and with them becoming an actual couple.

They were supposed to be _best friends_. Not a lot of people date their best friend and end up happy in the end.

And it’s not like you can just go back to being normal friends afterwards.

But that doesn’t mean Nico isn’t going to try being friends again. If he could have his way, he’d rather them pretend that every single thing that happened between them never happened and just go back to being good friends.

He’s opened up too much of himself to Will already to just lose him.

For the last remaining days of the term, Nico turns off his phone and throws himself into writing all his papers and studying for finals. He doesn’t think about or answers to the contacts of anyone from back home until the last day of his finals, and he spends his evening ordering in a nice proper dinner and drinking the wine he bought from the supermarket at the corner. 

It was a pretty nice evening until Nico had turned on his phone and _Will Solace_ calls their giant group chat at around eleven in the evening, asking for a video call for the fifth time in two weeks (Nico managed to get away with ignoring the previous four by telling Jason he was busy with exams), and Nico accidentally pressed the answer button. He might have been three-quarters through his wine already.

How idiotic of him.

Four blurry faces, a ceiling, and a black screen immediately pop on the screen aside from Nico’s face. Naturally, Nico’s eyes gravitate towards the screen in the upper right corner, where Will Solace himself has his face a bit too close to the phone camera for Nico’s comfort. He was always like that. Nico used to find it endearing, but now he’s just pissed at the sight of him.

“Nico!” Jason’s face immediately lightens up upon seeing him, “We haven’t seen you in _forever_!”

“What? Nico’s there?” A girl’s muffled voice comes from the black screen. The phone is picked up to show Lou Ellen’s face, and a wide grin splits her face, voice sounding much clearer. “Hey, dude! How’ve you been? How’s Italy? When are you coming home?”

Cecil and Piper ask him about when he’s going to come back as well because they’ll be there at the airport to meet him, and Nico can hear Leo yelling (from the screen with the ceiling) about all the things they have to talk about when he gets back. 

Piper nods, “Leo made some really good tacos recently. Vegan, of course. You should try them, Nico!”

Leo yells in, “We still haven’t made a recipe together! And you need to see our new vacuum cleaner!”

A frown from Cecil’s blurry screen, “The vacuum cleaner really bothers me, though,”

“Just because it tries to vacuum your dirty clothes doesn’t mean it’s terrible, Cecil.” Lou Ellen’s screen is back to black but her snort is unmistakable. “Maybe it’s a sign you need new clothes because they look so trashy that a vacuum tries to eat them.”

“Hey!”

While they talk, only Will is staring silently at the screen, but no one really notices how he’s so quiet. Will’s usual sunshine expression has changed into one that expresses a lack of comfortability and if Nico squints he thinks Will looks a little sad, a little guilty even. 

(Although it might all just be in his head.) 

After Nico had finished his wine, he had decided to finish off the rest of the beer in his cupboards. He had been a little tipsy an hour into the call, with Jason frowning at him and his drinking. Leo and Cecil had just asked him to buy them some foreign liquor as a coming-home gift.

In the two, three hours that they had spent on call, Will had barely spoken a word. He had been the first one to get off the call, reasoning that he still had finals to study for and terms to memorize. In the end, no one really knew why he had called in the first place, and no one bothered to ask him anymore.

Sometimes, nights are quiet and Nico’s brain plays his memories with Will on loop. 

A kiss on the forehead and a tight hug at the end of every day; the tiny little smiles and the brush of their hands when they pass each other in the halls in between lectures; Will reaching over to grasp his hand when they’re in the library in the middle of studying for midterms; cuddling and talking and kissing and falling asleep in Will’s single dorm room in the rare short free hours they have; the soft, gentle voice Will always had used when coaxing him out of his shell; the comforting touches Will gives him Nico had been feeling particularly destructive over the month of December.

Will had always been unusually warm, even in the colder months. It’s why Nico had fallen for him more than he should have and told him more things than he’d ever told anyone, including Bianca.

Sometimes, Nico cries himself to sleep because he misses Will, but he hates himself for it.

On most nights, he briefly wonders how he’s doing. 

Maybe they can be friends again. After all, they’ve been friends since freshman year; he doesn’t want to just throw all those years of friendship away.

He’s so out of it, he doesn’t return to Venice for a last visit to his mom and sister.

Nico flies home with full credits from his term abroad, heart pounding with nerves on what being back in New York after being away for six months will feel like.

He already misses Reyna and his little apartment near the plaza.

When the new semester starts, Nico makes a point to actively avoid all the places he knows Will might be at. He spends more time with Piper and Leo since they have similar class hours. Leo asks him about making recipes together, and Piper asks him to tell stories about Italy and how his life was there.

They’re sitting in one of the private discussion rooms of the library for group activities one evening when Nico tries to get a head start on his thesis. Piper is leaning her head against Leo’s shoulder, typing on her phone, and Leo is squinting at the textbook he’s trying to read.

Leo lowers his book, frowning as he rubs at his eyes. “What time is Jason gonna get here? I’m hungry.”

Nico looks up from the page he’s reading, eyebrows knitting together, “I thought Jason had an extra class today?”

Piper is still typing, “He told me it just ended early. He should be on his way.”

Nico nods and looks back down to his books. Maybe he should do an analysis of how ancient Latin affected or influenced the languages the world’s using now. That sounds interesting, and Nico managed to pick up a bit of info on the subject during his term in Florence.

He’s flipping through the book to skim through the chapters when the door to the room suddenly swings open, and two voices fill the rather quiet room. Nico freezes when he recognizes the voice that is so obviously not Jason’s, the sound of his laughter making Nico want to crawl under the table until they leave.

It's a relief that Nico’s back is to the door. He doesn’t know what he would have done if he saw his face first.

“Yo, Nico!” Jason claps a hand on Nico’s shoulder from the back, making Nico jump in his seat. Jason then over to the other side of the table and drops himself into the seat on Piper’s other side, shooting Nico a smile, blue eyes twinkling. Piper straightens up from where she’s leaning against Leo to lean over and plant a kiss on Jason’s cheek.

He hasn’t seen Jason ever since Jason and Leo picked him from the airport when Nico’s flight came in. It’s only been two weeks since, but Jason is smiling at him as if they haven’t seen each other since Nico left for Italy. 

“Feels like I haven’t seen you in forever!”

Nico hears the chair next to him creak as someone sits beside him. There’s a low mumble near his ear that he purposely chooses to ignore. 

“Sorry. Only empty seat left.”

He doesn’t turn even the slightest to acknowledge Will’s presence.

The room has fallen quiet again. Jason’s smile twitches, and Leo is suddenly looking extremely interested in his book again. Nico closes his own book and decides to make up an excuse to leave the room; he doesn’t like the feeling of this atmosphere. It’s too awkward. It’s like they’re waiting for a ticking time bomb to explode.

Nico reaches over the table and piles the books up in his arms, including the ones he hasn’t cracked open yet. He can always come back to read them or to check them out on another day.

Preferably when Will Solace isn’t there.

“I’m gonna go put these back.”

Leo immediately calls out, “Do you need help?”

Nico shakes his head, adjusting the books so that they won’t accidentally slip through his arms, “I’m great. Be back in a bit!”

He ducks out of the room before anyone else can say anything, and he accidentally slams the door behind him as he goes, earning himself a dozen ‘ _shh_ ’s from people sitting around the room. Nico curses under his breath as he speed walks over to the shelves in the far corner, where he got the books.

There’s a negative feeling bubbling in the pit of his stomach, and it pisses him off so much he wants to punch a wall. He hasn’t felt the desire to punch a wall since the previous year.

Taking a deep breath to push down the feelings rising up his throat, Nico abruptly drops the books onto the wooden floor with a loud thud. Thankfully, no one shushes him this time because of how the shelves are to the rest of the tables. He starts forcefully shoving the books into the first empty spaces he sees, barely noticing the numbers on the book spines that indicate where they’re supposed to be shelved.

He doesn’t notice the tears rolling down his face until he crouches down to pick up another book and something wet drops onto the back of his hand. He reaches up, wiping at his face and quietly laughing at himself. He’s always been a quiet crier.

_How pathetic._

Shaking his head, Nico grabs onto the last few remaining books on the ground and pushes himself to stand up. He goes to the other side of the shelf and resumes putting back the books, occasionally wiping at his face with the back of his hand.

It’s so fucking stupid how he’s crying. It’s absolutely pathetic. He’s crying and he just heard Will laugh and talk; he hasn’t even caught a glimpse of his face but all the feelings just came rushing back and now, Nico is _crying_. He hasn’t cried unknowingly like this for the past few years for reasons outside of Bianca and his mother.

And now, Nico is crying because of a fucking boy who is just like sunshine. The sun shouldn’t make you cry.

Nico laughs to himself again, pushing in the last book he’s holding in an empty spot. He wipes at his cheeks again, making a face at the dampness of the back of his hand when he pulls it back.

He’s so fucking _weak_.

How did he ever consider the fact that they might be able to still be friends after all this?

When Nico goes back to the discussion room after another fifteen minutes just to make sure his nose isn’t as red as Rudolph’s anymore, Jason is eyeing him suspiciously. 

Jason starts slowly, “You were gone for a while.”

Nico shrugs and slips back into his seat, still ignoring Will’s existence and how Will is looking at him intently. He leans back and closes his eyes.

“Yeah, I looked at some other books while I was there. I’m doing my thesis soon. Couldn’t help but look at them, sorry.”

When he opens his eyes a few moments later, pretending like he doesn’t feel Will’s stare practically burning through his skull, he straightens up and forces a smile.

“Dinner?”

Will catches his arm, stepping out of the elevator on Nico’s floor. Piper, Leo and Jason already went off on their floors. Nico tugs back his arm as if he’s been burned.

“Nico, can we talk?”

He ignores the thought that crosses through his mind of how Will’s touch is still so _warm_.

“Nico, _please_.”

There’s something in Will’s voice that makes Nico impulsively look towards him and stare right at him. He’s survived through the whole of dinner with Will sitting practically across of him, he can look at Will right now and tell him to “ _just fuck off”_.

And _fuck off_ he says, indeed.

Will steps back as if he’s been slapped. Nico tears his gaze away from Will’s face, pretending he doesn’t see the hurt flash through Will’s clear blue eyes. Nico turns on his heel and starts walking down the hall to get to his own shared dorm room when Will speaks again.

“Neeks, I’m sorry.”

Nico freezes at the nickname. He closes his eyes and bites back a curse paired with a harsh “ _don’t call me that_ ”. He only let Will call him that; it had been Bianca’s nickname for him.

“I’m sorry,” Will repeats, taking the chance because he knows that Nico is obviously listening to what he’s saying. “I fucked up. I hurt you. I should have thought things through, and you have all the right to hate me and just walk away right now, but please listen to me first.”

Nico waits.

Will continues, “I’m sorry, okay? I know how much you liked me, and I rushed things again. I should have thought things through and I’ve been feeling so guilty about it ever since it happened, and whenever you come up or whenever anyone is talking about it. I _blew_ everything. You, of all people, don’t deserve that, and I am so sorry.”

There’s a pause. 

When Will’s voice comes out again, it’s so low that Nico has to strain to hear it. 

“And I know that you might not want to be my friend anymore, I understand. But please don’t just cut me out of your life. If I can’t be your friend, I want to at least be your acquaintance, someone you talk to when we’re in a group together. I don’t want to lose you and all the years we’ve been friends. But you have full reason to cut me out of your life, and if you want to leave me out of your future, I won’t argue with you. I have no right to.” His voice cracks, “I’m sorry. I can’t say it enough. I am _so_ sorry, I was stupid.”

Despite himself, Nico can’t help but feel bad upon listening to Will’s words. He sounds so sad, and Nico hates it when Will, of all people, is sad. Then he curses himself for being so soft. All the harsh words he had wanted to scream at Will had dissipated the moment Will’s voice cracked, and Nico doesn’t want to look back at him. He doesn’t want to see the look on Will’s face, whatever it may be.

Will had always been happy and cheerful and bright, every time Will looked the slightest bit down, it was so painfully obvious and Nico had promised himself to always make Will happy.

Despite himself, Nico still _likes_ him. It’s difficult to just purely hate Will, especially after everything that happened between them.

Nico’s hand curls into a fist and he takes a slow, deep breath before turning to look at Will’s face. Will’s blue eyes are shining - of what, Nico doesn’t know, and he doesn’t want to know. He looks like he has been running his fingers through his golden hair, his lip is trembling, and Will is biting on the insides of his cheeks. Nico knows that expression: Will is on the verge of tears.

He doesn’t know how he has it in himself to do it, but he steps closer to Will. He thinks Will is holding his breath, but his blue eyes meet Nico’s. Nico doesn’t know if he wants to cry himself, too, or to scoff at Will. He is so close that he can count Will’s freckles, and he almost reaches up to touch Will’s face before he manages to stop himself. Will’s always been the touchy type so he wouldn’t mind either way, but Nico tells him _no, Nico, you’re not together anymore_ . _It will only hurt you more._

His mind is yelling at him to _Step away! Leave him! Walk away! Don’t do it!_

“You know.” He doesn’t know how his voice can be as stable as it is, either, and he doesn’t know where the words are coming from. His brain is so out of it, he might not even remember this whole conversation tomorrow morning. “I think that’s the only reason why I’m still open to being friends with you. I actually do hate you right now, though. I hate what you did, and I don’t know why you had to do it but at the end of the day, you’re still my friend. _Fuck_ , I’m in love with you, even. I hate myself for it, it’s pathetic-”

“We can break off our friendship right now if that’s what you need. I just don’t want to lose you forever, Nico. We can go back to being friends later-”

There’s something about the emotional way Will said he doesn’t want to lose Nico that suddenly makes anger surge in his chest again. Maybe Will should have thought about that before doing what he did,

“You know that if I stop being friends with you right now, I’m never going to be your friend again? You know me better than anyone.”

“Right.” Will whispers, “I’m sorry.”

Nico bites down on his lip, thinking about what else he wants to say. He doesn’t think he’s ever heard Will this emotionally depressing. Nico’s supposed to be the sad, depressing one between them. “Do me a favor and pretend like I never confessed, pretend that we never got together, okay? Stop apologizing.”

“But that’s disrespecting you,” He looks up at Will. Maybe there’s some hint of a glare in his eyes because Will immediately leans back before continuing, “I already hurt you enough.”

Nico swallows a growing lump in his throat. Does Will have to be so fucking nice all the time?

“Yeah, but I’d rather never think about it again. It’s not something I’m proud of. You always deserved better than me.”

Will’s blue eyes glint again. Maybe it’s just the shitty lighting in the hallway, not tears. “Nico, no. You deserve better than me, you shouldn’t have to be hurt like this. And I’m so sorry-”

“Stop apologizing. Shut up.”

Will looks like he’s going to say something but he catches himself. “Okay.” He hesitates before saying, “But you really do deserve someone who will love you as much as you loved me. You don’t deserve _me_.”

The words rush out before Nico can bite his tongue. “What if it’s you who I want?”

“Nico, _please_. I’m so sorry. You know if I could I’d make myself love you in the way you want me to.”

Nico almost laughs before it fades out in the back of his throat, and he asks Will something that has been floating around his head for a while. It’s something Reyna suggested might have happened, and Nico hasn’t been able to get it completely out of his head since.

“Did you love me, though?”

Will looks shocked at his question, “Of course.”

Nico can’t stop his lips from curling upwards in a tiny bitter smile, “So it just wasn’t enough for you to want to keep me around for a long time, then. I guess I was the only one hoping things would turn out okay in the long run.”

“Nico-”

“Did you feel my sincerity, at least?”

The shocked expression on Will’s face turns into a sad one, “Of course. It’s why I’m so sorry for hurting you. I felt it too much.”

Nico nods slowly. He doesn’t feel anything anymore. “Right.”

A silence falls between them. Nico suddenly thinks that the whole hallway has become eerily quiet, as if people are listening to their conversation right now. It probably isn’t so far from the truth; the walls and doors in this fucking dormitory are paper thin. If Nico punched the wall, his whole arm would go through. The only exception really are the tiled bathroom walls.

Nico clears his throat after what feels like a whole minute, his mind is blank. It doesn’t look like Will is going to say anything more anytime soon.

He doesn’t know what to say anymore; his mind is blank. He just feels strangely numb.

He blurts out, “Friends, then?” 

Will looks a little taken aback, before nodding furiously.

“Friends.”

Nico nods back again and waves his hand to the hallway behind him, “I’m going to go.”

“I’m sorry, Nico.”

“Shut up.”

“Sorry.”

It’s only when he’s safely inside his dorm room (Thank god Frank Zhang is already there because he doesn’t think he can unlock the door on his own) that he realizes he still hasn’t heard the words tattooed on his arm.

Nico heaves a deep sigh. 

Frank glances over at him, a worried look on his face, “Are you okay, Nico?”

Nico tries for a smile, but his mouth feels weird as he tells Frank he’s okay.

Thankfully, Frank doesn’t press on to ask about the conversation he most likely has heard outside in the hallway. 

Frank doesn’t ask him any questions when a crack and multiple grunts rings throughout their tiny dorm room because Nico punches at the tiled wall in the bathroom, either. It’s the only wall in the entire dorm that isn’t paper thin, and the walls are so sad-looking no one bothers to ask questions when they find yet another broken tile in the bathroom.

Frank only silently offers him a fresh towel and some medicine salve for his bleeding knuckle, which Nico takes with a little whisper of thanks.

Nico was thinking he was doing pretty well at being okay and friends with Will.

When they see each other a few times a week for dinner with their other friends, Nico can manage to look at him without scowling or rolling his eyes - at least, half the time. While he still cannot really manage to address Will personally, he was thinking how great it was that he doesn’t just glare or roll his eyes at him. They don’t really talk as much as they used to, not that they even talk at all anymore, but It’s better to ignore his presence half the time than to be mean and scathing, right?

It’s been three, four months since Will broke up with him and Nico thinks he’s doing a great job of being okay, that is, until Leo drags them all out for drinks one Friday night.

Now, the problem here is that Nico had assured and promised Jason that he was perfectly okay with Will. That he doesn’t have any hard feelings against him. That he was completely over Will. Because Jason had a bad feeling of what could happen if Nico had hard feelings against someone they were going drinking with and got drunk.

This was a real problem because Nico obviously wasn’t over Will, and that he had quite a few things he hadn't mentioned to Jason.

What Nico hadn’t mentioned was that he could barely listen to his favorite songs or watch his favorite movies or even read his favorite books because whenever he tries, he remembers how Will had told him he loved Nico’s preferences in art. Trying to get back into his favorite art pieces just leaves a bitter taste in his mouth now purely because of Will.

What Nico hadn’t mentioned was how sometimes when he looks at Will’s face for more than a glance, he thinks of the good memories he had spent with Will in the library studying for finals or in Will’s dorm, talking and kissing. And especially when Will was smiling, Nico could barely look at him. Will had a habit of smiling while kissing, and Nico hadn’t been able to erase that memory from his head yet.

What Nico hadn’t mentioned was how the memories of Will reaching for his hand and intertwining their fingers together were still stuck in his head. Along with the memories of hugging Will, or even going out for a walk at night with him.

 _Everything_ about Will bothers him. And it especially pisses him off how Will doesn’t even look as terrible as Nico does sometimes when the memories hit him particularly hard, and Will has a terrible poker face.

So, of course, Nico gets shit-faced drunk and lashes out at Will and releases all that pent up angst. _In public_.

He had been pointing his finger at Will and going off on a whole rant about how he hates Will for what he did and how everything affected Nico. He had been half talking, half crying while doing so, and everyone just stared at him in shock. Including Will.

It didn’t help how Will probably had a bit too many drinks in his system as well, and they had a whole shouting-crying match in that tiny little bar near campus. Will had always been a lightweight, and he tended to be an emotional drunk. They both were. 

Will had yelled about the guilt he felt and how he’s been trying to move on, but he was unable to because _“someone couldn’t get over the whole thing and stop glaring every time I said something”_. He had caught Nico taken aback with that, and Nico was shocked to silence for a few seconds before anger bubbled up in his chest again. 

He had proceeded to curse out Will to the ends of the earth until his feelings had subsided, and stormed off into the men's toilet and didn’t come out until an hour later.

Will had been crying, obviously very emotional.

Piper is the one chewing him out the next afternoon in the library (Apparently, Jason had gone over to Will’s because they had more similar class schedules) over what happened between him and Will at the bar, and Nico barely remembers anything. 

_Fuck._ It was practically a miracle that Piper hadn’t mentioned him throwing or breaking anything.

Piper had chewed him out, telling him what Will had said while crying after they yelled at each other, and gently told him that maybe he should have cleared all that up first before drinking together to avoid those kinds of angry situations. Nico had frowned; how was he supposed to guess he was going to blow up like that? He didn’t think all those things were of much importance when they were more of little annoyances in the first place.

She had only sighed and patted his shoulder, “Please don’t do that again. I’m scared you two might hurt each other to the point of no return.”

Nico had frowned deeply, guilt biting at him. “What if we already are at the point of no return, though?”

Piper had shaken her head.

“You’re not at that point, trust me. Will was really hurt, but maybe it was because you kept that all to yourself for months. You of all people should know that he doesn’t like it when people keep their burdens to themselves.” A pause. “Besides, he understands your points. He accepts them. I know he does. You _know_ he does. It’s Will. All of us - me, Leo, Jason. We just hope it doesn’t happen again.”

Nico had only nodded silently.

It never did happen again.

Nico manages to graduate college without speaking another word to Will, despite them seeing each other in a group a few times a month. They don’t really acknowledge each other anymore, and they never did talk about what had gone down between them that night.

According to Jason, the last thing Nico had told Will was a whole drunk “ _Fuck you_ ”.

He has to wonder if that’s the exact phrase tattooed on Will in Nico’s own messy scrawl. They never really talked to each other about the others’ soulmate tattoos.

The next time Nico hears anything from Will himself, it’s through a fancy midnight blue envelope he receives through the mail on a Saturday in spring, in mid-April.

Nico is 28 and working as a part-time professor in a private university in New York while writing his very own novel in his free time.

He doesn’t know how Will found his address, he moved out of his father’s house after he got hired at his first job. He only assumes Will has asked around. Tracking an old friend (or is it acquaintance? He’s not really sure anymore) down shouldn’t be as hard if you have a few common friends. Maybe he got it from Lou Ellen. Lou Ellen lives in the area, and they meet up quite often for drinks and to catch up.

However, that’s more curious and strange about the fancy envelope he received in the mail is the content itself. 

On the sender’s part of the envelope, there is Will and another person’s name - a girl, Nico notices - written together in a pretty cursive script glittering gold that is obviously not Will’s. In the middle of the envelope is Nico’s full name written in the same pretty handwriting, with his apartment’s address.

Nico already has a hunch on what the content is about, but he doesn’t understand why he would be invited to that kind of event. He lost contact with Will long ago. Surely he wouldn’t want Nico there, right?

When Nico peels open the envelope and shakes out the thick blue paper inside and finishes reading the words printed on it in golden ink, he almost drops it.

It’s a real wedding invitation.

Will’s getting _married_ in two months.

Nico hasn’t gotten into any proper relationships since graduating, only choosing to hook up with people at bars, and here, Will is getting _married_. He’s not exactly sure how to feel.

He’s not exactly sure what to do about it, either. They haven’t talked to each other in so long, but Will still invited him to his wedding. Is it normal for people to go to their ex-partner slash soulmate’s weddings?

Nico thinks about this for a few days, even mentions it to his students and asks for what they think he should do (they’re 50/50 on it, with half telling him to go for the closure and everything, and the other half telling him not to. Yes, he told them his whole relationship history. He noticed that they even enjoyed it more than his actual lectures), asks Jason what he should do ( _“Do whatever you feel is right, Nico”_ ), and even talks about it over an “emergency drinks meeting” with Lou Ellen on a Tuesday night.

She only laughs at him, agreeing nonetheless. Nico can imagine she’s rolling her eyes at him.

Lou Ellen sips her drink and takes a while before she puts it down and answers him, “What do you want to do, though?”

“I don’t know,” Nico groans, “It’s why I’m asking.”

She doesn’t say anything for a while, only looking around the bar they’re sitting in that night. Lou Ellen is still wearing her work outfit - a white shirt tucked into a pair of black slacks. Then she turns back to him, motioning to his arm with her chin.

“You got your tattoo there, right?”

Nico nods.

She shrugs, “Go to the wedding. I’m sure you’re dying to hear how he’s going to say that. He might just say it there.”

Now, Lou Ellen doesn’t know exactly what his tattoo says, but he had described it to be “ _rather bittersweet and definitely something Will would say_ ”. But upon hearing Lou’s reasoning, Nico suddenly realizes that the phrase tattooed on his arm is definitely something that Will would say at a _wedding_ , of all places.

Immediately after finishing his lectures the next day, Nico fills out his RSVP card and mails it to the return address specified on the card.

Twenty-eight years and the first wedding Nico attends is Will’s. It’s on the first day of summer.

There’s fewer people than he expected, all wearing shades of blue and or gold. Nico sees Will’s family, spots Leo Valdez standing by a corner, and he soon finds himself dragged into a seat by Leo himself. Leo is dressed surprisingly nicely, wearing a dark blue shirt with black pants, but his curly hair is still as wild as it had been years ago. 

His grin is unmistakable, “I haven’t seen you in _years_ , di Angelo! You don’t even visit during the holidays!”

Over the years, Jason had been trying to get them all to go to his and Piper’s place for the holidays - birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, even Halloween. Nico had rejected all invitations, saying that he was busy writing his novel, or with his half-sister, Hazel, who he met just three years ago when his father got remarried.

Nico returns Leo’s grin, although his is much smaller, “Sorry, I’m usually busy during the holidays. Are you here alone?”

“Unfortunately,” Leo makes a face, and Nico has to laugh. “Cal is a bit busy today.”

Just recently, Leo had started dating a girl named Cal he met while on a trip back home. While Nico’s seen the caramel-haired girl with Leo's arm around her through the holiday photos they send to the group chat, he’s yet to meet her in real life. While Leo is raving on and on about his girlfriend, Jason and Piper arrive, tailed by Lou Ellen, and hugs and greetings ensue.

Then the wedding itself starts, and Will appears, Cecil at his side with the same cheeky smile he’s had ever since freshman year. Nico hasn’t seen either of them in five years, but it doesn’t feel like either of them has really changed.

Nico’s breath catches in his throat despite himself. He barely notices Will’s bride because he’s too busy taking in how Will looks in his dark blue suit, with his blond hair pushed away from his forehead. His smile is blinding, and his blue eyes are twinkling. There’s a gentle, brilliantly beautiful smile of pure happiness on his face that Nico hasn’t seen in a long time. Is it too much to say that Will’s body is literally exuding a layer of warmth?

Beside Nico, Piper is crying into a handkerchief Jason had handed her, already guessing that Piper would break down in tears during the actual ceremony. Apparently, Piper was the one who introduced Will to his bride, with her being a colleague at the hospital Piper was doing her training at. Will’s bride is a physical therapist, is great with kids, and is just as kind and gentle as Will is. 

During the whole ceremony itself, Will looks so happy it physically makes Nico’s heart hurt. But at the same time, he is also happy that Will finally found his happiness, even if it isn’t his soulmate. The bitter memory of how Will promised Nico they’d always be together and happy crosses through his mind for a split second, but Nico is genuinely happy for him. 

Of anything, he has only wanted Will to be happy. Will has always looked the most beautiful when he was smiling, even if they weren’t directed at Nico.

(Nico looks away when the couple kisses, his heartbeat pounding in his ears.)

During the reception, while Nico is catching up with all their friends - talking about the novel he’s writing, the sister he has just found; Jason is taking up a Graduate degree; Piper is graduating soon to take the exam to get her clinical psychologist license; Leo started a machine shop of his own. There was a lot.

Cecil was just talking about how he started his own business - a surprise, really, seeing his engineering degree - when Will walks over to them and asks Nico for a dance.

Nico, despite having frozen in his seat, had accepted the dance because of the weird tingly feelings he had felt coming from the tattoo on his arm, and he remembers Lou’s words from a few months ago.

Will’s hands are on Nico’s shoulders, with Nico’s arms on Will’s waist as they sway to the soft music. Nico’s fingers are only lightly touching the blazer of Will’s blue suit and he looks at a spot just over Will’s shoulder, at the wall across the room.

“Hi,” Will breathes out, “I didn’t know you were going to come. We- I was so surprised when your RSVP came in the mail,”

Nico hums, deciding to look at Will directly. Will’s blue eyes are as soft as ever, and he sees the tiny upward curl of Will’s lips. 

They don’t say anything again for the duration of the song. Nico just looks into Will’s eyes and lets the memories wash over him. He’s pleasantly surprised to know that they don’t sting as much as they used to anymore, and he even lets a smile form on his face. Will, who looked like he was deep in thought as well while studying Nico’s face, brightens.

“You look great, Neeks.”

At that, Nico looks down at the black suit he’s wearing, with the golden tie he usually wears to interviews. It’s a tie he wears for luck; he only wore it to Will’s wedding because it was the thing he had to match the dress code of blue and gold.

He nods at Will’s statement. He doesn’t know why the words are trapped at the back of his throat, his lips seemingly glued together, still. It’s been years; he should at least be able to talk _now_ , no? Even if it’s just a simple “ _congratulations on your wedding_ ”. 

Will doesn’t seem all that bothered about Nico not saying anything, it’s as if he’s expected the silence.

The song comes to an end soon enough, and what happens next is too fast for Nico’s laggy brain to register at once. Nico’s own arms drop limply to his side when Will drops his head to rest on Nico’s shoulder, his arms wrapping around Nico’s body.

Will’s voice comes out as a whisper. “I know we’ve been a bit rocky since college, but I took a chance to invite you here because I wanted to see you again. You know, soulmates and all. And it felt weird to not send you at least an invitation.”

A new song comes on through the speakers, and it’s just as soft as the last song. Nico briefly wonders if all of this is okay, seeing how Will is married but is hugging his ex, his actual _soulmate_. Nico ignores the loud beating of his own heart that he can hear in his ears and tries to pull back, but Will holds him tighter. The words he thinks he might be able to get out are stuck in his throat again.

Will abruptly pulls back, his gaze gentle and hands moving back to hold Nico’s shoulders, and studies Nico’s face again. Nico doesn’t know what Will is seeing in his face, and he can only hope he’s not as flushed and red as his face feels. He didn’t really expect this at all. They’re not even dancing anymore.

When Will speaks again, halfway through the first verse of the new song, his words come out in a flurry. “I just wanted to tell you thank you for being there in college. For being my friend and everything else. I like to think I’ve changed for the better, and I’m still sorry for what I did to you. I don’t think I will ever stop feeling sorry.”

Nico feels like there’s electricity racing up and down his limp arms, starting from where the first word of the phrase tattooed on his arm begins. 

“You were always beautiful. You still are, and I’m certain some part of me will always love you in the way you didn’t want me to love you. But I hope we’re both okay now. I hope you’re better. I mean, you _look_ better. You _seem_ better, and I’m proud of how much you seem like you’ve grown. I’m glad you were a part of my life, and I want to thank you for having been a part of mine.”

As if pulled down on impulse, Will ducks down and tilts his head to plant a soft, feather-light kiss on Nico’s cheek. Will then walks away from him, probably to look for his bride - his wife. 

Nico is left standing where he and Will had swayed to for half a song and talked for half another, the spot where Will’s lips had lightly brushed past his cheek, burning. The tattoo on his arm tingles, and his heart is racing. He had never thought that the words on his arm could sound so much like a goodbye before.

But here they are.


End file.
